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Interview with a groom; advice and tips on the grooms speech

Red7 , August 6, 2013

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When it comes to a wedding, the most daunting aspect of it for a man is, in the majority of cases, the grooms speech. Whilst the bride is fretting over the venue, the flowers, the invitations, the food and everything else involved in organising a wedding, other than planning the stag weekend, the groom is likely to be found biting his nails over the thought of standing up in front of a room full of people and reciting a speech…

It doesn’t have to cause the stress and worry that it so often does though, and to reassure some of you who are currently preparing your own, we caught up with our web developer, Rob, who just got married, to ask his experienced advice. Trust us, Rob was quivering in his boots the week leading up to the wedding however, he had absolutely nothing to worry about; he nailed it! So guys, if Rob can do it, you can too…

How early did you start preparing your speech?

About a month. It had taken it’s original shape 3 weeks prior, but was tweaked up until the night before!

How long would you recommend the grooms speech to be?

Between 5 and 10 minutes. Don’t make it too long, you don’t want to bore your audience, but you need enough time to get your sincerity across, and all the thank you’s!

Were you nervous before the speech? How did you calm your nerves?

I was terrified in the build up to the wedding, becoming extremely nervous about 2 weeks before. The main thing that made me nervous were peoples recommendations on delivery. I had a script that I wrote totally from the heart, but when practising with notes on flash cards I’d always crumble. When I resided to the fact I was going to read from the script (with points for ad lib) I felt far more comfortable, and therefore more confident. Always remember, this is the best audience you’ll ever have; they are there because they love you, and will want you to do well.

How did the speech go on the day?

Far better than I’d hoped. I had practised loads, so knew the majority of it of by heart. I read from the script when I felt nervous, and looked up and ad libbed the bits I could remember, even under the pressure. I think it was well received, and I was happy with how it went. Having the script meant I put the emphasis on thanking people that I wanted to express.

What tips and advice would you give to future grooms-to-be?

Prepare and tweak it until you are happy with it. You’ll never be 100% pleased with it, but try to get as close to that point as possible. Do not – as I did – search for ‘Is it faux pas to read a groom speech from a script’. You will not hear what you want to hear, and I think it’s bad advice. Do what you feel comfortable doing and everyone will love it. Jump too far out of your comfort zone and you’ll crash and burn or rush through it without mentioning all the things you’d planned to. We are not all natural born speakers; play to your own fortes! That being said, I can’t imagine many audiences receiving smut well from the grooms speech, so do as I did, and leave the best man to receive the face palms!

Cheers Rob!

So, to summarise, remember the following key points and your speech will go down a success;

  1. Keep it short and sweet – no longer than 10 minutes
  2. Write and prepare the speech the way that it works for you – queue cards or full script – there is no right or wrong way
  3. Practice it before the day
  4. Leave out rude jokes and anecdotes -the best man will take care of that!
  5. Relax and remember, everyone is rooting for you

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