Red7 , April 7, 2014
Most of us have seen at least one episode of Don’t tell the Bride, a reality show in which a groom is given £12,000 to plan every aspect of his wedding, including the venue, dress, food and guest list. It got us thinking. Is it really fair to assume that a man planning a wedding is a recipe for disaster, and that the average man doesn’t think about his dream wedding as intensely as the bride?
Jamie, 27, in a long term relationship | Arman, 30, in a one year relationship | Kweku, 24, single and dating
Hello, you’ve been given £12,000 to plan your dream wedding. What is the first thing you would spend the money on?
J: A good venue. Big enough for plenty of people, dinner and a party after. Out of the way so everyone can stay up after hours.
K: Food and venue
What do you think of the ‘Don’t tell the Bride’ show?
J: I think it’s alright, a lesson a little bit in how people (women) have a regimented idea of the perfect wedding but really, they’re not sure.
A: I’ve never seen it, but if I’m honest it seems like a bad concept. Most women I know tend to have very specific expectations on what their wedding should be like and I think it’s best they have the last say on most wedding matters.
K: Only seen it once, it was annoyingly captivating. I won’t be watching it again.
How often do you think about your future wedding?
J: A little but not for a long time
A: Infrequently – mostly at weddings.
K: Generally at stag dos and weddings. I think more about the type of woman I’d like to marry.
Where would you like to get married?
J: I grew up in a village and used to see people getting married in the church all the time. You kind of expect you’ll end up there. No real tie to it though, not really religious so we’ll see; my Gran may have something to say about it.
A: Ideally somewhere overseas that is scenic and hot. Possibly the Maldives.
K: A big stately home in the UK with nice gardens.
Would your wedding have a theme?
J: I go to a lot of festivals so would be cool to do something like that. A band and a couple of DJs, change the music once the oldies are asleep. Think you should sit down for a meal though, maybe a glasto/traditional hybrid type thing.
A: No, but it would be traditional.
K: No, themes are tacky.
Tell us about your ideal stag destination.
J: Don’t have one. I am pretty sure whatever I’d like, I would end up somewhere opposite and naked tied to a lampost so wouldn’t get my hopes up by imagining one.
A: Las Vegas, without a doubt.
K: Overseas, probably Eastern Europe. A mixture of hardcore boozing and survival activities.
What would you like to see your bride wearing as she walks down the aisle?
J: Whatever she feels good in.
A: Assuming I marry my current girlfriend, traditional Asian clothing.
K: A stylish wedding dress, nothing massive.
What would be your biggest guest-related worry on your big day?
J: Not inviting someone I should have. I think we’d be quite a popular couple (not in an arrogant way) and with not loads of money, I can imagine there will be someone/ some people who would feel they should be there and make it known.
A: That they don’t like the food, or my brother punches somebody.
K: I’d be worried that people would get bored or not talk to each other, or not like the food.
Personal wedding touches:
a) the first dance
J: knee slide, obviously
A: Something traditional
K: A meaningful tune, no dance routines
b) the decorations
J: no idea
A: No idea, but all the male guests will wear traditional samurai swords
K: I went to a relatives wedding (Ghanaian bride and Scottish groom) and the decoration combinations were amazing.
c) the entertainment
J: I would be in charge of music
A: Persian band during the food, then a comedian, then a Hip Hop DJ
K: A soul or funk band then an RnB DJ
How important do you think it is for the groom to have a say in the wedding planning?
J: Pretty big, it’s their day too and their family and friends need to be happy. 70/30, women’s favour
A: I see the grooms role as a peripheral
K: Not very, I just want to choose the food